Father, make me humble.

"This post goes out to Jacob, Cracker Barrel, several co-workers whom I consider brothers and sisters, Dr. Horn, Nicole, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, Joe Thorn, lack of sleep, a mind that is crazy at times, and to the Father."

In the words of Jacob,

"I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love

and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant..."

Before coming to this distant land, I was a waitress, or server to be more politically correct, at Cracker Barrel consistently for 3 years. This job seems to have caused me a problem. Every time I would go to work for 8 hours or more and my mind would be constantly working overtime. "Table 222 needs a coke, 221's food is at 12 min...better get a manager...line dipper says we're out of mashed potatoes and green beans....what else do they want , Tables 211 and 212 are being pushed together...party of 8, straw...napkin, honey mustard....ice....1 diet coke...2 sprite....1 sweet tea with lemon...2 unsweet teas/one with lemon and no ice the other with no lemon and extra ice....oh no what did table 222 need.....etc."

This vast land has not remedied the problem. I go outside and there are rickshaws, motor bikes, scooters, cars, buses.....all beeping thier horns. There are women in neon green saris and mustard salwar suits....wait, that one's me. Stray dogs with mange, a stray cat with one eye...chasing a rat, a man urinating on the wall, trash, cows, a wealthy family, a farmer, beggars, fireworks. It smells like chapatis, idly, curry, dead something or other, trash, urine that has been accumulating for thousands of years baking in the sun on the sidewalk, jasmine. It tastes like salt water, chili powder, tumeric, curry, cumin, cardamom, and chai.

Because of my problem, I tend to find it difficult to go to sleep at night; Sometimes, it takes about 4 hours of my mind racing to the server's station and back. What is my mind so busy thinking about? You name it.....and that's what...anything and everything.

Tonight, I thought I'd share some thoughts from the day as I'm trying to go to sleep. Bear with me though, because at times I find it very hard to communicate what I'm thinking (I think you'd find this especially true about me in person) because my mind won't stop long enough for me to speak or scribble down a few notes...just be glad I am actually writing this, as opposed to expressing my thoughts out loud.

From a conversation with at friend [friend: "I'm having a non-country day on my radio.....except for 2 songs... :); me: no music for me.....except the birds"]

To myself [hmm....country music....maybe I will listen to music today.]

"Bye, Steph...see you tomorrow." I guess that means I'm alone again in this house tonight....now singing "alone in this house again tonight.....got the tv on, the sound turned down, and a bottle of wine...."

I leave...go to dinner....say some goodbyes....get to talk with another friend....pleasant conversation....return home in a rickshaw through semi-heavy traffic....just watching everything going on around me....listening....hah....how could that baby be asleep on the back of that motor bike in this noise?

What to do at 10 'o clock at night when you're home alone with no tv, no movies, no books, and you're not sleepy. I guess I'll get online. Talk to a couple of friends...yay! Play Faith Hill's album Hits from online. Look at my cousin's website http://www.livingmercy.blogspot.com/ without completely reading, and then click on Joe Thorn's website and read (almost all of) an article on humility http://www.joethorn.net/page/4/ Humility...this is what I need...what a great article....all while still listening to Faith Hill...."Cry a little......for me.." Wait....is this me....am I just like you Faith...thinking I'm humble, but the opposite oozing from my lips, boasting in my humility? Tim to Faith in "I need You" :"I need you like a lighthouse on a coast" ...me: "Lord.....I need you like a lighthouse on a coast." ....Flashback to James book study (my thoughts in italic, my emphasis in bold...actually...I'm emphasizing most everything).

James 1

1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings.
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. God, I lack wisdom, and I'm asking for it.

6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;

8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
9 Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation,

10 and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away.

11 For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.
12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.

14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Forgive me Father.
16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.

17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

18 Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.

24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.

25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.
26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Forgive me Father. Forgive me. May I continually be a hear and a doer of your Word. Give me wisdom. Help me to bridle my tongue. Don't let my heart become hardened towards the widows and orphans begging on the street. Father, make me humble....truly humble.

".......One of them says, 'you know I've been thinkin' ...Other one says, "that won't get you too far." ...The secret of life is a good cup of coffee...The secret of life is a beautiful woman...'you and me, we're just a couple of zeros' ....The secret of life is monday night football.....mom's apple pies....The secret of life is getting up early....The secret of life is staying up late....The secret of life is tryin' not to hurry....The secret of life is a good cup of coffee....The secret of life is to find the right woman.....The secret of life is nothing at all......The secret of life...."

and my addition....The secret of life is trusting in the Father.

"It's a long way from [Bat Cave ] to the big [country where I stay] and sometimes the butterflies still get me......."

"It matters to me...."

"She's a wild one with an angel's face."

Alright....cd's over. Faith Hill is great....goodnight....wash my face, brush my teeth, take my contacts out, shut the balcony door, did I lock the door?, pajamas, alarm clock, write down rickshaw fare, bathroom, .................

And, why doesn't this stupid blog post exactly how I'm typing in the box?

holidays and headaches

GANESH,



You. give me. a. headache!!!!! I'll just give you the top reasons why.....

1. People have been up until all hours of the morning the past two days (with 8 more days to go) celebrating your birthday. And not only have they been up, they have been shooting fireworks, and not only have they been shooting fireworks, the ones they are shooting sound similar to civil war canons......all of this going on right outside my window. Who can sleep with such racket?


2. Too many people asking for "Ganesh" money.


3. Even just thinking of all the sweets people are eating in honor of you (made with a gallon of ghee--clarified butter, and 5 pounds of sugar). Gross.


4. You're not even real.


5. Millions of people are worshipping you anyways. They are following you to a place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.

To learn more about Ganesh, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganesha

Birthday Party!

Note: Because of the lack of human interaction these past couple of weeks, this post is going to be long. I'm posting so that I don't start talking to myself. :)

So, my roommate/teammates have been on a trip out of the country for the past 2 weeks, and I have been pretty lonely. I do most of my work right now (research) on the computer, so I haven't had very much interaction with people. (Except talking to my family on Skype). (Thanks to the Father that tonight "SG" is coming home tonight!!!! I've really missed her!)

The only person I've seen on a regular basis has been our house helper and neither one of us can ever understand what the other person is saying. A few weeks ago, on a Saturday, she brought her daughter with her. While her mom was cleaning, I let her play on my computer and we had a lot of fun. Before leaving, the girl said, "Auntie, my birthday September 15."

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday, I asked the house helper to bring her daughter over today for a present and some birthday cake. And I remembered to ask if they were "veg" or "non-veg" for cake making purposes. I looked online for an eggless cake recipe and started baking away. Note: I've only ever really made one cake from scratch, and now I'm trying without eggs. Also note: read the caption of the last picture of my previous post. The batter tasted ok, I baked the cake, and was completely amazed that it didn't fall apart (all the other cakes (from a box) I've ever made tasted great, but they've always ended up looking ugly and crumbly). The icing, however, was a different story....it never thickened...so I just poured the icing soup on top of the cake. A friend, who shall remain nameless, said to me once, "We can cook!"....and I'm definitely realizing the truth of this statement. Of course I can cook, sometimes it's an experiment, sometimes it's amazing, sometime it's strange, sometimes it's ugly, sometimes it's ok, and sometimes it's just awful.

Today, I got everything ready, and an hour after I thought the helper and her daughter were coming, the door bell rang. Yay! They're here, and the son too.

We all sat down for cake, and on the inside I was laughing so much. As I watched the son try to finish his piece of cake, I had a flash back of "K" trying to finish her food at a friend's house, and of the many times I've had to eat something I didn't like in this place just to be nice. He had to eat the cake, the whole piece that I served him. Funny. It wouldn't have been so funny, except that the cake wasn't good. It was alright, but it was SO heavy, heavier than pound cake, must have been a 10 pounds cake. One bite would have been enough. I could tell he was struggling near the end.

After cake, came the presents. I gave her a Bible story book, and a couple of other small items. The book had all the essential stories, but with lots of colorful pictures; she was very excited. Even though the family is Hindu, the children go to a Christian school. Pray that Father uses these things in this family.

After presents, came pictures. I took a family picture. Note: Today the girl turned 10, and her brother is 15. They are SO small! All of their heads are shaved because of some "important" visit to the temple. The house helper's face isn't really that color yellow. Today, she just did some puja or maybe beauty routine with tumeric powder. Then, the house helper and her son tried taking a picture of me and the girl. This was funny to watch. After about a million tries, we finally got one that turned out ok.

After pictures, the kids and I played cards. War, Go fish (speaking of fish, while I've always enjoyed trout, I'm learning that fish is one of my favorite foods), and then I was out of ideas. So they decided on a game to play and proceeded to teach me.....we'll call it laljgjd;lasj;raj;lfjadlf, because I have no idea what they said. It's a great game though :)

August in pictures...actually, just pictures taken in August

Cricket anyone?





gross polluted river that smells rrrreeeealllll nice right now
...actually all the time.

a Hindu temple


I really love this picture...especially how he's a rusty color
near the barbed wire


bowl for grinding spices


the stove...not mine thankfully.
I'm already discovering my lack of cooking talent.

Indonesia

Shels and I :)


Sheley, Dendy, and I


Rabbit...yum, yum!


take-out from the mall...and Amy's taking the pic!

craziness!


chemically straight hair....and two months later it's still straight!


Karoke, 3 times! Oh, Baby,Baby....;)

burnt a hole in menu.....I see you!

Volcano

Leni and I

volcano again


Amy, me, and Shels...volcano

volcano...again

in the tree





Indonesia was a really great!

Hot Fun in the Summer Sun...

Dear Friends and Family,

Another two months have flown by. Many things and everyday life has been happening here….just like it has been there. Lots of you are getting married and having babies (I can’t wait to look at your photos and to hold those little cuties…or babysit for you one day)☺ Others of you are working and going to school. Know that I keep you in my prayers and that you are thought of on the other side of the world.

June passed by with one teammate finishing her term. Lift up Anna as she adjusts back to the States. Also, we hosted a volunteer team from Arkansas for a little over a week. This took much preparation, but was a very encouraging event. The team held VBS in the mornings and shared their stories and the Gospel in the evenings. June finished up with lots of reports and a trip to Thailand for some meetings. (This picture -Me and local parents observing VBS)

-----------------------------------------------------

The first week of July was filled with many meetings, good food, and great fellowship with others who are working in various places around South Asia. After Thailand, I went to Indonesia to visit my dear sister Sheley! And as an added bonus, Amy joined us! This was much needed! Now, I’m back in the big city, feeling refreshed and ready for the work that is before me.

In the picture is: Sheley, Leni, Me, Amy, Elli, and Vira.

Things to think on in my behalf:
· That I would abide in Christ.
· National partners. ‘D’ was in a motor bike accident and broke his collar bone. ‘K’ had surgery today for a hernia. ‘PP’’s mother-in-law passed away.
· On going changes with our team and the work.
· Health. I’m healthy now, but the mosquitos have arrived and are multiplying. Dengue
and other illnesses usually come with them.

Your Sister, Roz

P.S. Thanks NCCF for all your encouraging notes, and pictures that you sent ☺ I love them VERY much…..and I love you more!!!

Bonus picture: An elephant ride in Thailand

I hope you haven't forgotten...

Dear Friends and Family,


How is everyone? I'm sorry that it has been so long since you’ve heard from me. A lot of things have been happening on this side of the world, and spare time has been little. I think of y’all often and would love to hear from you, so please email me!


So...what’s been happening here? April was very busy with my supervisor coming to visit, going on a short trip to celebrate our risen L-D, more time with the supervisor, helping the other girls to find a house, packing, saying goodbyes, wrapping things up with my Hindi study. My job in the North wasn’t a great fit, and a better one opened up, so May 2nd I moved from a small town up North in the mountains to a huge city down South near the beach. A lot of things are new here.....new team, new roommates, new job, new culture, new language, new climate, etc.




goodbye beautiful mountain scenery!

Now, most of May has also passed with moving, a three day event with an orphanage, beginning to study Tamil, a four day trip with teammates to do some follow-up surveys, Sundays at a place of w-ship called Ashraya (refuge), and getting acclimated to the city.



Things to think about on my behalf:
• Adjustment to everything new. Also, that I would everyday fix my eyes on the Rock of Ages who will never change.
• Strength to bear the heat (up to 111 F and very humid).
• That the L-D would work through me to shine light in this dark country.
• Local believers here in the South. That they would not rely on tradition, but on the Word. That they would share the Good News everywhere they go.
• That Father would continue to work in the North.
• That the L-D would work through the devastation that still exists because of the tsunami in 2004.


Blessings,
Roz,
or these days more commonly known as Rose (they can’t pronounce the “z” and I don’t want to be called “Raj”)

This is beach about 8 hours away from where I live.

Around 6000 people were killed here in the tsunami that happened in December 2004.

Pahari boy

Pahari man in traditional dress

just to share some photos...

our little town...

our little street...

our little stairs...

the trash pit...

a house along the way...




enjoy!

So, it's March

“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord made the heavens.”

1Chr 16:26

In every shop, in every home, around every corner, in the hearts of the people, and everywhere you look there are idols. However, when I look to the mountains, and at the beautiful birds, and into the hearts of the believers here I know that the one God, the Lord Almighty made the heavens and the earth.

A local Hindu temple to Kali.

This month, the days have been filled with many hours of language study. For a couple hours a day I study what I have in my notebook, then I go out into the community to practice what I’m learning. Six days a week, a teacher comes to our flat for a couple of hours in the evening to give us Hindi lessons. Also, we have been meeting many new people and making relationships with our neighbors and shopkeepers.

Praises:
Still, I haven’t really been sick (except for the one day after eating my American Peter Pan Peanut Butter!!!). New friends who are local Kingdom workers...they have really been an encouragement. The travel this past month was very informative, and it went very smoothly (that just sounded funny to me, because the road was anything but smooth!)



Things to think about on my behalf:

• Direction in assignment and location; We will take another survey trip March 20-26.
• I haven’t really been sleeping very well.
• The local Kingdom workers; many have faced much persecution. Some have worked here many years without yet being able to see a harvest.
• Also, for continued language learning.

(If you can read the sign on the wall by my head, it says deewahr = wall. The hat on my head is a traditional Pahari hat that is worn by the old men in this area.)

Blessings...

It's been a month now...

The Accounts of a Mountain Girl
Update #2 February 2007
“Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God.; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O Lord.” Ps 36:5-6

It’s really hard to believe, but I’ve been in this land for a month now. This past month was very busy for me; some of the highlights included: (1) two weeks of orientation in the big city, (2)a really long bus ride to our new town, (3) our week long home at the lodge, (4) moving across the street into a flat!, (5) losing my wallet!, (6) the return of my wallet!, my first full week of language study, and many more adventures.

In everything, the Father showed me His faithfulness and steadfast loves that never fails. The mountains pictured above are the view from outside our flat. Today, they have fresh snow, and are even more beautiful than pictured!

Praises:

• SAFE TRAVEL TO OUR NEW TOWN, A PLACE TO STAY, A LANGUAGE TEACHER
• NO SICKNESS FOR ME
• MY WALLET– One day I realized that my wallet was missing. I knew I had used it the
  previous day, so I talked to the Father and proceeded to retrace my steps. A gracious “uncle," who speaks English, helped me speak to the tailor and various other shop owners about my missing wallet. No one could recall seeing it, so I returned home. I decided that the wise thing to do would be to cancel my debit card, so I called the bank. Before the bank answered, the tailor was at the door with my wallet......and everything was still inside. PTL!

Things to think about on my behalf...

• RELATIONSHIPS WITH TEAMMATES– There are four of us girls who don’t really know each other well, living in a very small space. Ask that we prefer one another in love.
• OPPORTUNITIES TO SHARE– This is hard because we do not have the language skills yet, but just ask that there would be a girl who speaks English and with whom I can share the good news.
• LANGUAGE– That I would be diligent to study, that I would learn quickly, and that my
  lessons would be efficient.
• UPCOMING TRAVEL FOR "H" AND I– February 13th- 15th we will be traveling a couple of hours to a city to do some research (on our people, and on the city). This could be a possible place for the two of us to live after April. We will take two additional trips in the next couple of months.

This is on the local bus. There was standing room only this day, but it’s SO cheap!
Thanks for lifting me up!

Grace and Peace